Monday, December 29, 2008

Merry Christmas!

So it's closer to New Year's than Christmas right now but we've been working our way out of the toy store that was dropped off at our house. My father in law made the joke that Toy's R Us called and they've run out of product and could they borrow some of ours to restock the shelves. Sadly he's only half joking, while Toy's R Us did not call, we do have a lot of toys. But that's a problem I'll gladly take any day.

Matthew had a great first Christmas. He was very interested in the whole presents process and while he did not obviously unwrap his own gifts, he did have quite a lot of fun with them while they were still wrapped. He does seem to understand that toys are a fun thing to have an makes attempts at playing with them. The coming months will be full of all new experiences for the little guy.

Matt and I are including in our resolutions this year to get this house organized so we have room for Matthew to keep learning and growing.

He's made some cool advancements over the past week or so.

~he's rolling from back to belly and belly to back and can get quite far until he runs into a wall or a chair.

~he's reaching out to you if you put your arms out to him

~he's doing very well eating solids. We got him a mesh feeder for his stocking and so far it is a huge hit. He's had carrots, banana's sweet potatoes and cantelope in it.

~his deep belly laughs are becoming more frequent and not just at tickles. He thinks peek-a-boo is hilarious as well as pretending his hands have gone missing.

He is a complete and total joy to watch grow every day. I love this little guy with a desperation I've never felt before.


Thursday, December 18, 2008


Matthew's made quite an advancement this week in the processing of the world around him. He's realized that toys can be fun and that putting them in your mouth helps your gums feel better when they're sore. Now that's obviously not rocket science, but it's a lot in the brain of a five month old.

Watching him today struggle to get the flower on his excersaucer in his mouth I was struck by the level of concentration on his face. He spent a good ten minutes pulling the flower towards him and straining on his tippy toes to reach it. It was an amazing thing to watch. I'm so blessed to be able to watch these daily transformations as he becomes an active part in the world around him.


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

His first word?

Okay, not really. He is now saying single syllable consonants and that single syllable consonant he is saying is........"ma." :) Even though he's not saying it in reference to me, it's coming out of his mouth and so sweet to hear. Today is also 5 months for my little guy. Where does the time go?


and December

and two quick videos. One where you can hear him say "ma ma ma" and one where he's just being cute talking to me.

and for memory sake here is the first video I took of him back in July. Look how tiny he was?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Greatest Gift...

Matthew is the best gift we could ask for. I'm sure most of you would agree that having a child is one of the greatest gifts that could ever be given. We are so blessed by his presence in our lives. We are so excited for Christmas morning and to see the tree and all the treausures that Santa has brought him. We are thrilled, even though to him it'll be just another day.

I know a lot of you will probably be buying him a gift this year, and we are grateful for that. But we have a favor to ask you. Last year we decided that we would donate toys to Toys For Tots in honor of the twins for whatever age they would be that Christmas. Last year we bought infant toys and today we went and bought a bunch of toys for one year olds. Please, if you're able, pick up a small toy for a one year old in honor of Daniel and Hope. Matthew would appreciate it and so would his mommy and daddy.


Friday, December 5, 2008

Talking to the Baby in the Mirror

Matthew made a new discovery today. Himself. And apparently he's a very funny kid! He was playing in the excersaucer he's been playing in for a couple months now and finally discovered the one toy on there is a mirror. He's spent the day quite enthralled with that little boy in the mirror. If only he knew what his discovery has done for me today.

Today was my due date with the twins. A day I counted down to the moment we found out they were on their way.

Posted below is the post I made in a journal last year that I keep seperate for my grieving them:

I've been thinking all day of what I wanted to say in here on this day. I have to admit it's not as sad as I expected it to be. When we first lost the twins I couldn't imagine this day even getting here as time seemed to stop. And now here we are. It's amazing what strong emotions we attach to a date on a calender. Good and bad. How many of us can say the date of our first date, the day we got engaged, our wedding day, birthdays, the day people we loved died. And when you get pregnant and find out the due date the world stops and focuses on this huge countdown to approximately when your world will change.

And it's true. My world is different today than it was before I got pregnant with the twins. But certainly not in the way I expected.

I prayed after we lost the twins to be pregnant again by their due date. And I'm shocked that I actually am. Actually I shouldn't say that. I believed it could happen and God has blessed me hugely. Has it taken some of the sting out of the day? I don't know. It's not quite as painful as I expected it to be but I'm not sure if that's because I'm pregnant or if it's just a product of the passage of time.

I've learned a lot through all of this. Mainly that life is a bittersweet journey. And you just do your best to keep your faith and try to not struggle too hard to understand what your not meant to understand. It's not easy. But life's not supposed to be easy.

And with that I end with this:

Dear Daniel and Hope,

Mommy and daddy love you and miss you with every heartbeat. There is a part of our hearts that will always be kept aside just for you and all of our love that we can only send you in heaven. The wonder will always be there. The ache will always be there. The pain will always be there. But the memories of the dream is there too. The 18 and 19 weeks we had with you were a blessed, wonderful, amazing time in our life. And for that we are thankful.

Stay snug in heaven sweet babies.

Until we meet again,

Anyway, back to the boy in the mirror...

To lighten this post up a bit I have a picture of him watching himself and a blurry video. Enjoy! And if you have a second to spare today send a prayer to my babies in heaven. And in your prayer please mention how very much they were loved.


Thursday, December 4, 2008

Jeckyl and Hide

My son. He is a sweet boy. Loves to play, to be cuddled, to be tickled. However, there is one thing he does not like. Getting dressed after bathtime. He loves to get dressed in the morning. Giggles and squirms and smiles. But there's just something about getting his jammies on that he is really opposed to.

Here's some photographic evidence:



And getting dressed:

Still need more proof of the change in personality?


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddddd....getting dressed:

Check out how he's watching me through the whole thing. Little stinker.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Is This My Life?

Dear readers of this blog. If you're reading this it's because you are either my family, my friend, or in some cases both. I guess some of you may have stumbled across this while looking for interesting blogs to read, and I hope this is one. In any event I want you to know that I appreciate you, all of you, for being in my life.

For standing with me as we struggled to get pregnant and for holding me up as I grieved the loss of our twins and for celebrating with me when we got pregnant with Matthew and holding your breath as those long 9 months creeped by.

This holidays season is upon us and I am just amazed and overwhelmed at the joy in my life. Last week I went with my sister-in-law and nephew to a studio to get pictures of Matthew and Andy for Christmas. Me. The boys were in matching outfits. It seems like such a little thing but to me it was a big huge thing. *I* have a living child this Christmas. Matt and I have a little boy to spoil and to celebrate the birth of Jesus with. We have a child to take to Santa. There's a baby to show lights to. A little boy to dress in Christmas pajamas. Do you understand what that is to me? How many years I've dreamed of this? The wonder, the love, the joy, the amazement.

There are not enough words in all the languages of the world to express my sheer excitement. My bliss. The love I feel.

The season is filled with hustle and bustle and sometimes in all the rushing around the spirit gets lost. I will not lose the spirit this year, in fact mine is higher than it's been since I was a little girl. I am a mommy this year to a living, breathing, full of life little boy and I will cherish each second of the holiday.


Thursday, November 27, 2008


The definition of thankful is: feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.

To say I am thankful this year is an understatement. I am at a loss for words to express my gratitude. My life has had it's fair of sorrow and grief but there has also been unimaginable joy. We went upstairs this morning to get Matthew out of bed and with one little smile my world filled with happiness. I love my son and my husband. And my family and friends. Even though there have been hard times I could not be more blessed. I've been given love and friends and three children who all make me who I am.

I pray all of you today take a moment to remember your blessings.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Elusive Laugh

Hearing Matthew laugh fills my heart with an unimaginable joy. However he does not give away his laughs freely. In fact you have to work pretty hard for one. Daddy's pretty good at figuring out the right combination of words and ticklish body parts to make it happen. Once you figure out the right touch he'll laugh for a long time. Unfortunately once you find the right spot it will never make him laugh again. It's like a password that changes daily and I spend all day figuring out what will make him laugh next.

It's all worth it though, even for the few minutes he laughs. The sound of pure joy. Aaaaaaah. It is well within my soul.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Blessed Day...

Sunday was a big day in the spiritual journey of our little man. It was the day he began his walk with God. I pray for my son every night. I pray for God to help us to be good parents to him and to lead him down the right path in life. And I pray that Matthew will always feel God's love and have faith that through Him he can do anything.

It was a wonderful day with us surrounded by family and friends in the church that I grew up attending and where Matt and I were married. He was christened by the minister that married us. He was sleeping as we went up there and awoke as the water was sprinkled on his head. And as the minister prayed over him he stared into his eyes as if somehow he knew what was going on.

I was proud of myself. I held it together until the minister started his prayer with "this has been a long awaited for child." With that one sentence my soul crumbled as the I was hit by the realization that through all of our strife in getting and staying pregnant I held on to my faith and here I was. With my son.

Some of you may know this, but most of you probably don't. A long time ago I had heard that if you want to ask God a question to ask your question out loud and flip through the bible and randomly stop. I stopped on the page that held the passage, "behold, for I shall give you a son." I remember my breath catching as I read it. And through all the disappointment of treatments that didn't work I held on to it. And here I am. With a living, breathing, perfectly healthy son.

God is good, my friends. God is good.


Monday, November 10, 2008

Letters to My Children

Dear Matthew,

A year ago yesterday mommy found out you were on your way to us. I was scared something would go wrong and so excited at the chance it would go right. I spent 38 weeks dreaming of your little face and all of the things I wanted to do with you. When my mind would wander and panic would fill my soul I would imagine holding you against me with your little legs tucked up underneath of you. I would imagine taking you into the pool at the house down in North Carolina with you being so tiny. Your Aunt Christi and I spent hours online looking for a bathing suit small enough for a little guy like you to wear. I would imagine your eyes, dark brown like mommy's. Imagine my surprise at the bright blue eyes that stare back at me each day.

All of those things I dreamed about and imagined came true. But last night when I couldn't sleep I started thinking about all of the little things I love about you now. Like how when you were so little, just a week old I would lay you on my chest and everytime your daddy or I would utter a sound you would lift your head up to try and find us. Or how you wake up in the morning so happy and playing and when I look over at you in your bassinette and you see me you break into the biggest smile. I love how when daddy is feeding you, you just stare at him. I love how you lay in your swing and turn your head towards the tv, letting the lights lull you to sleep. I love how when I give you a bath at night and run the washcloth under your neck you break out into giggles. You are definitely ticklish like your mommy. I love how when I sing to you the "bumblebee song" it makes you laugh and how you love to look at the pictures in the books we read to you.

I love that when I handed you the dinosaur we had bought for your brother you clung to it like it was your favorite thing in the world. And how whenever I talk about your big brother and sister to you you smile. I sometimes wonder if you can see them and know they are your special angels.

I could go on and on about all the things I love about you, the list is endless. You are my little lovey boy and I am so happy I am your mommy.

I love you forever and ever,

Dear Daniel and Hope,

Mommy hasn't written to you in a while, please know that this in not due to a lack of thinking of you. I think of you every day and wonder how different our life would be if daddy and I had three little ones running around this house. As you know your little brother is here. He is 4 months old now. It's amazing how quick this is all going. I wonder if you both would have looked like him. I know from pictures of you that you and him inherited mommy's big feet. Sorry about that. Matthew's christening is Sunday and I know you will be there watching over all of us. We see you every day, in the hot air balloons that fly over our house, butterflies that go by the living room window, the smiles that Matthew gets as he's seeing things in the air. I am proud to be your mommy too and will love you all the days of my life. You couldn't stay with us and we are not meant to understand why, but you are in some awesome hands in heaven. I'm sure your grandparents and great-grandparents and Aunt Cathy just love on you all the time for me. You are not alone there and that gives me great peace.

I love you forever and ever too,


Sunday, November 9, 2008

Happy 4 Months Little Guy!

Four months have gone by so quick! I can still remember the day he was born so clearly. Okay so maybe not the day he was born since I was in and out of sleep all day after 3 days of labor, but I definitley remember the next day and when I finally got to see the little face I had been dreaming about for so long.

Here's a quick picture comparison:

His alligator at 2 months


3 months

4 months

Friday, November 7, 2008

Okay, so it's been a while

As time often does, it goes by quick! I've been busy getting my house ready for our company we have coming over Thanksgiving. Matt's brother and family are flying up from Texas and will be meeting the baby for the first time! I'm so excited for the baby to finally meet his cousin!

Besides that going on we're getting ready for Matthew's Christening on the 16th.

To make up for it I have a lot of pictures and some video to share!

My cute little studmuffin

Last night he found his feet (video of this to follow)

A grumpy face boy

I like talking to daddy

My new hat is SO cute!

And some video.

This was last night. He started scratching at his bassinette and it took me a while to figure out what the noise was. Imagine hearing it for the first time at 2 in the morning!

Laughing at mommy scaring him.

Talking with mommy.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A Hearty Laugh

Tonight after bath time Matt was playing with the baby on the bed. He was pretending the dinosaur on his jammies was biting his hand. Matthew started laughing out loud so hard! It was his first laugh directed at us because of something we've done.

When he was first born we existed to him solely as the people who fed and changed him, and now we've also taken on the role as entertainer. A role which we gladly accept.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Purple Box

Today is pregnancy and infant loss rememberence day. At 7:00 pm woman across the country will be lighting candles in honor of their little ones. Not that a day goes by that we don't remember our losses, but it's nice to have a day that is set aside for it.

On the morning of July 12th I was being wheeled out of the hospital, a purple box in my lap, my eyes were cast downward to avoid seeing all the happy families with their new babies. I didn't have a baby, I had a box...

The day we found out that one of our twins didn't make it was one of the most bittersweet days of my life. In one breath we found out we lost our sweet Baby B while in the next breath we found out Baby A was a healthy boy. Shell-shocked would be a good word to describe it.

I had to go on and move forward, I had a little boy on the way and he needed his mommy to be strong.

Five days after we found that out I started having contractions that I thought was just a backache. When I went to the OB I was immediately sent to the hospital. Walking down the hall to the nurses station we passed a woman and a baby leaving to go home. I was instantly struck by the realization that I would not be leaving the hospital with a baby.

Not long after that my fears were confirmed as our doctor, with tears streaming down her face and the beat of my sons heart on the monitor behind us said that I was in full labor, it couldn't be stopped, and he would not survive more than a few minutes if he survived at all.

Devestated. How could this have happened to us? How did we struggle through infertility to finally be blessed with twins only to now be losing the one that survived? We quickly made the decision to move forward with the induction. No sense putting off the inevitable.

We were asked if we wanted them baptized and without hesitation said yes. Then we realized we needed to name them. I wanted biblical names and instantly the name Daniel came to me. There was a little boy in my class a few years ago who had been diagnosed with brain cancer whose name was Daniel and I remembered the story of Daniel and the Lion's Den with him, he's Cancer free now, by the way. When I said the name out loud to Matt he grabbed my hand and we cried. We went with Hope for Baby B even though we didn't know the sex. All along the twins had been "faith" and "hope" to us and we wanted to stick with it.

The day went along and right before Daniel was born I was so scared I asked the nurse to pray with us and she did. She said beautiful words asking God to help us to know we were good parents to Daniel and Hope and to be there for us in our time of need. I felt God in that room that day. It was the worst day of my life, yet I felt a small little light inside of me. The light of God letting me know He was there and I was not alone.

The next day the nurse came in with the only proof that my babies ever existed. There were some pictures, footprints, little hospital bands and some commemorative birth certificates. That box is one of my most prized possessions.

Looking back on that day and the first few days that followed I am proud of my strength. I'm not sure how I did it except to say that you find the strength you need when you need it. You pull it out of your toes and you find it in the strength of the woman who walked through that fire before you. You take it from everybody around you until you can stand up on your own.

I am a better mommy to Matthew because of them. I have been taught the importance of loving every moment and being attentive to every blink of his eye of being grateful for every breath.

I ask you when you read this today to say a prayer for Daniel and Hope and for the babies of my dear friends. Our lives are forever changed by their tiny footprints.


These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
Never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant,
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me a chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all,
these tiny footprints,
are found on mommy's heart.
Cause even though I'm gone now,
we'll NEVER truly part.

Author Unknown.


Saturday, October 11, 2008

3 Months and Going Strong

Our little man turned 3 months old the other day! Here's a then and now comparison







Where does the time go?

When Life Gives You Prunes...

Well our little friend Matthew has been having some potty issues, mostly that he hasn't gone. So mommy helped him out tonight by introducing him to prunes! He wasn't thrilled at first but he actually started opening his mouth for it after a bit!

Ummm, mom, what are you doing?

I don't think I like this...Photobucket

I really don't know about this stuff!

We kept telling him that it does get better. Eventually he'll be able to eat pizza and cookies and steak, but yeah, it doesn't start out that fun.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Once In A Lullaby...


Thank you so much for the pictures and video! He has the most beautiful complextion ! How could anyone not love those rosy little cheeks and his big blue eyes. He is a keeper! I can remember you at that age, holding you and rocking you to sleep was one of my most endearing memories about you as a baby. I remember thinking - this little munchkin is so amazing and bright and God managed to package all of these wonders that we called Megan into one little baby body. Well the apple does not fall far from the tree. You and Matt Sr. make beautiful babies!!! I think that he was well worth the wait. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing these pictures. I save them and pull them out when I am having a horrible pain day - his little baby face makes me feel better. Just looking at him and remembering you and my own three when all of you were as little as he and I have to smile. Treasure this time because they soon grow up andbegin to talk which leads to eventual talking back (such is life).

Take care, tell Matt hi, and give my little angel boy a kiss from his great aunt who promises to love him always just as I have loved his mother!

hugs and kisses all aroundAunt Cathy"

My Aunt Cathy sent me this email on Tuesday September 9th. A week later she passed away. Another loss in my family. She was my mother's oldest sibling and her death rocked my family, the grief made that much stronger by the fact that it's only been 3 months since my mom passed away.

She loved my son, as made evident by the email in the beginning of this blog. Most people (okay everybody) called her a baby hog. She once took a job at a daycare in the afternoons not to make extra money but to have babies to snuggle. When she visited me in the hospital after I had the baby she wanted to know if she could go down to the NICU and rock some of the babies there. She also made sure the nurses knew what they were doing when it came to taking care of her niece and her great-nephew.

This email and the others I have by her are especially important to me because the fibromyalgia she suffered with made her hard to understand in person. Her words would be slurred and she would tell you the same things over and over not realizing she had already told you. But in these emails the clarity came through. There were glimpses into the woman she was before the pain took over.

She called me once or twice a week since I had the baby always wondering about every little detail of him. Did he enjoy his baths? Did he smile if you made funny faces at him? How was he sleeping? She told me story after story about me as a little girl and her own children growing up. She had three children pretty close together and recently told me how her middle child, David, complained that all the pictures of him he was in the swing. She roared with laughter as she said, "I had two children running around and I was tired and pregnant again, I had to know where one of them was!"

She consoled me after I felt like such a bad mommy the day Matthew rolled off of our couch. She told me that babies get hurt a lot worse when they start walking around and walk into things. She then told me the story of the time one of her children fell down the stairs after she just told her husband to be careful. And how she came home one day to find her husband taking their oldest child, Sarah, to the emergency room because she had dropped a brick on her toe. She said she was furious with him for letting her play with bricks.

I cherish these stories. Once again I have learned the hard lesson of not taking time spent with family and friends for granted because we just aren't guaranteed tomorrow.

When Matthew was a couple weeks old Aunt Cathy and her youngest child, Mary, came up to visit me and the baby, well mostly the baby. She was so excited to be here and to get her hands on him. She would even time Mary to make sure she didn't hold him too long. I'm glad she was able to come and spend the day with us.

Right before she left she was laying on the couch with the baby sleeping on her and she said to Matt, "Matt, quick, grab the camera and take our picture, it will be the cutest picture." She captured a moment in time I will always treausure. Most likely it was one of the last pictures taken of her, and on a day where she was so happy, doing what she loved best. Baby hogging.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Oh What Fun!!

Since Matthew likes to stand up so much we decided to get him an excersaucer. To say he loved it was an understatement. Matthew's normal strength in his neck was no where to be found as he strained to look at all the new brightly colored toys around him. Again, to watch him discover the world around him is just an awesome experience.







And here he is in video form playing with it.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Letting Go

We had a big day. Matthew slept in his crib for the first time for his big nap this afternoon. I laid him in it, waited until he fell asleep, and promptly began to cry. I always knew this day would come. The day where he started being in his own space that wasn't two feet away from me.

He's always been where I am. At night he sleeps in his swing until we go to bed and then we bring him up with us and he sleeps in his bassinette next to my side of the bed. It seems so silly to be sad over such a little thing, but it all goes to the point of he's starting to grow up on me. And I'm not ready.


Monday, September 15, 2008

Riding Dinosaurs

Every night when Matt comes home from work he takes the baby upstairs with him to change while I start dinner. I like to imagine him driving home after a long day and being excited about seeing his son. Matthew, on the other hand, is less enthusiastic. See, he's a mommy's boy already. I'm sure it's typical of children who have mom's or dad's stay home with them. But Matt keeps trying, determined to make sure he knows both of us as safety nets.

After dinner they hang out and he asks him about his day and it usually goes something like this:

"What did you do today with mommy? You were riding dinosaurs? Were you in your car seat? I have to tell that mommy it's not safe for you to be riding dinosaurs without your car seat. Silly mommy."


I think, like me, he is overwhelmed by the love this child has brought into our lives. The shear joy and excitement that comes with guiding him along this journey called life.

There's something about watching my husband be a father that takes my breath away. He is a good man, raised by a good man, raising what I pray will become a good man.

I'm honored to share this life with him and to give the world another good man.


I thank God every day for all of the blessings in my life. I'm so lucky to be married to this man and to have this little boy. Love is a strange thing. It is boundless. Just when you think you couldn't love someone more you catch a moment and you fall all over again.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Broken Pieces Put Back Together

I miss the twins.

Everyday I think of them and actually last night I dreamed of them.

But this little boy has done something to me. He "fixed" a part of me that I didn't realize was broken because I got used to the broken me.

After losing the twins life went on and I found myself happy and looking forward to doing things but there was still a spark in the joy that wasn't as bright. And I just got used to it that way and kind of forgot how it felt the other way. And then last night driving home from an awesome day with our friends we were talking about going back down in a few weeks to go to a festival and the anticipation and excitement of going was so strong and I couldn't figure out why as it's just a silly little fall festival with overpriced food and tons of people. But then I realized it's because of him.

He's filled my life with a sweetness and joy that I thought would never return. And of course I could feel guilty still because the twins aren't here and he is but I can't because he is here and he deserves the whole world and I can't wait to show it to him.

I know it won't always feel this good. The emptiness will certainly return as I think that we should be a family of five and we are but not in a conventional way. But I sure as hell plan to enjoy the whole feeling when it comes.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Learning Things is Tough!

So my little guy is on a quest. A quest to find his thumb.

He's pretty close and has gotten it a few times but he's still struggling with it. He can't seem to figure out how to get his thumb untucked from between his pointer and middle finger. So he ends up sticking part of his fist in his mouth and well, that's just not the same thing.

And if Matt or I try to help him God help us! You see he wants to do it on his own. But he gets frustrated and yells at himself. It's too funny.

Anyway the other night he finally had some success and I was able to get some pictures.


Monday, September 1, 2008

The Most Beautiful Sound

The most beautiful sound in the world to me is the sound of Matthew's cry.

I know most of you will think that is strange, but by the time you finish reading this blog you will understand why.

You see when you become pregnant and dream about the day you give birth you can't wait to hear your baby cry. A lot of the stories of childbirth talk about the moment. The euphoria you feel as you realize you did it, your child is here! And he/she's got strong lungs!

Sometimes it is frustrating to listen to your child cry. Especially when you've tried every trick in the book to make it all better. There are some days when the sadness takes over and crying is the only thing that helps the poor babe's soul.

Those days would frustrate some moms, but not me.

You see when Matthew cries I sometimes let him do it for a minute or two just to listen. To hear the beautiful sound of his lungs working. The urgency and sadness in his voice gives me pause and I find myself smiling.

Why you ask?

Because Daniel and Hope never cried. Never got the chance. They were never able to utter a sound.

But Matthew? He can. So I listen. And am thankful.


Sunday, August 31, 2008

Every Day is a New Experience

Matt and I were busy today rearranging our living room to fit the bigger paraphanelia that comes with the little baby (that's a blog for another day, why are babies so little yet their stuff is so big?) Anyway a lot of the stuff could be done with one of us with the baby but for a little bit we really needed to both focus on working in the room and of course it coincided with a time that Matthew decided he needed attention too.

I remembered a toy we had received at my shower and had Matt bring it down. It was like giving him Christmas and his birthday mixed with the best movie you've ever seen. As soon as I set it up in front of him his eyes got real big and the smiles on his face were melting!

Luckily I'm never far from my camera and was able to capture it on film and in video.

Aren't you happy we can share the experience with you all?

Make sure you check in the video how he is holding on to the green ring.



And in video form.