Tonight I asked Matt to let me put Matthew down. You see while in reality he is only 24 hours older tomorrow than he is today he will still be one. At 5:58 a.m. after a very long and hard labor that ended in an emergency c-section Matthew was born. The arms that had been empty for so long were not anymore.
It's been an amazing year with him and although this week has been very busy with cleaning and preparing for his party on Sunday I've been trying to take the time to enjoy the last few days of Matthew being a "baby". It's such a cliche, to say that that first year goes fast, but you don't truly understand how fast until it's your child. How long it seemed to take him to learn how to roll over and sit up and feed himself, it really wasn't that long ago. As the days ticked by slowly the year came up fast. Too fast.
I've said it before in my blogs. I'll miss the little baby he was. How he would struggle to lift his head off of my chest as he was a few days old trying to follow his daddy's voice. How he would make little creaks and groans as he slept and would stretch. How before he was in control of his movement his little arms and legs would shoot up or out. How he would smile and pout in his sleep. Those memories, I pray, will never leave me. I will hold them close to my heart and remember them when he's a smart mouth teenager declaring he hates me because I won't let him take the car.
I pray with all that I am that I am a good mommy to him. That I've hugged and cuddled him enough and done everything within my power to give him the best and most nurturing first year he could have.