As most of you know my mom was a hairdresser. Well, she went to school for it and practiced it on friends and family. She couldn't handle the stress of working in a salon and being resposible for the way people feel about themselves. But she enjoyed cutting hair very much. As Matthew's hair grew longer I started to feel a heaviness at the thought that she's not here to give Matthew his very first haircut. It's something I know she would have loved to do.
Since I don't have my mom here I had to do the next best thing when it came to getting the boy's haircut. I dug her scissors out of the box of stuff I have from her that I just don't know what to do with yet. We headed off to the salon where they made a big deal over the event. We walked in and the receptionist asked very loudly "is this our first haircut boy?" Matt and I were full of smiles and very excited over the day. Matthew had no clue what was going on but was very happy to see other kids in the building.
When we went in to where Melinda would cut his hair I pulled out my mom's scissors and asked her if she would mind making the first cut with them. I felt the tears pooling behind my eyes and after I got the question out I was in full out crying mode complete with snotty nose. I don't know why it hit me so strongly, but it did. I've often described grief as a big hole in your life and you spend your time walking around the outside of it. But every once in a while you're not paying attention to how close you walked to the hole and in you go.
I gathered myself back together and Matt went to put Matthew in the chair, which as you can imagine didn't go so well. So I got in the chair first and held him in my lap. Matt had the video camera going as well as the point and shoot camera and off we went!
Matthew was a very good boy during the haircut. He sat pretty still with some help of my fingers holding his chin in place. The only part he really didn't care for was at the end when she used the clippers to even out the back.
After he was all done he even got to pick out a prize!