Dear Matthew,
Being your mommy is one of the greatest gifts ever. This year with you I got to live out lifelong dreams I've had. When other little kids talked about growing up to be doctors or lawyers or actresses, I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted to spend my day with my child and do mommy and me classes. And we got to do a lot of them this year. We did swimming classes and gymnastics and lots of different library ones. It was so fun to watch how you changed through them. From the timid little boy who wouldn't leave my side to the kid who runs by me yelling "hi mommy!" as you're chasing a ball in gymnastics. I can't believe how much you've grown this year. And I am so grateful that I have the oppurtunity to spend every day with you. You are such a joy to me. From waking up in the morning listening to you on the monitor saying "mommy, are you?" to having you blow me kisses as daddy carries you into the bedroom after your bath. Every day is just so fun. Even your tantrums and power struggles.
I never knew love like this could exist. When you are happy, I am happy and when you feel pain I want to take it all from you. I want to keep you in the living room forever watching the movie Cars and protect you from mean little kids, and girls who won't love you back and bosses who won't see your potential. I want you to feel nothing but love as you grow. But I know that's not possible. As your mom and dad it's our job to raise you to be strong and wise and kind and to let you fly away and hope that we did it right. We want to raise you to know that the world won't always be a happy place, that hard times can sometime feel like they're around every corner you turn. And if we've done our job right then when those days come you'll hold your head up and keep walking forward, strong in the knowledge that the Lord is always with you and no matter how alone you may feel you're not.
Tomorrow is your second birthday and I just don't know where the time has gone. I miss the baby but the little kid you are becoming is just so awesome. I can't wait to watch you grow even more and see you one day become a man. I hope you're just like your daddy because he's the best man I know.
On this night before your birthday I have this prayer for you. I pray you always love with your whole heart, even if it gets broken. Never settle for someone who doesn't love you as much as you love them. Follow your dreams, wherever they may take you and know that a lot of times you have to fail before you get what you want. Sometimes the things that are harder to get are the most worthwhile. Working hard is the only way to get what you want, and if it's coming too easy perhaps it's not the right path. Love God always, although you may not understand all that He does, He will never let you down.
I love you Matthew, and I will always love you. No matter what you do or where you go you will always have a piece of my heart with you.
Happy birthday baby.
love,
Mommy.
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