The cast of Rent appeared on Good Morning America this morning and sang this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8iTeDl_Wug which is one of my favorite songs. It's called Seasons of Love and is about meausuring a year in the life of somebody.
Of course with my raging post partum hormones I started thinking of what a year I've had. This time last year I was struggling to get out of bed and find something to live for. I know not to question God, that there is a path we are all meant to walk on, but it was certainly not an easy time to say the least. I couldn't imagine then the full circle my life would take. I don't know if you all realize that I gave birth to him two days before the one year anniversary of losing his brother and sister. Full circle.
I am overwhelmed at the blessings in my life and that God deemed me worthy to not only be a mother to angels, but to also give us this little boy to raise and show the ways of the world. All the hopes and dreams I have for him are boundless. I want the world for him. My heart is so full of love for my family that I feel as if it could burst at any second.
As the song was playing on the television the little one started squeaking, as little ones often do, and I snatched him up and held him close and cried. They were happy tears for him mixed with sad tears for the twins and my mom as the realization that this has been a hell of a year for us.
But man, did it turn out well.