Oh No We're Stuck!

Last weekend we went to visit Matt's parents. Since I crave the beach anytime I'm within 45 minutes from it on Friday we went to Rehobeth to have lunch on the boardwalk and feel the sand beneath our toes.

Last summer Matthew loved the beach. He loved digging in the sand, playing and throwing it and even went through the rite of passage of eating it. So call us surprised when we stepped onto the sand and he started fussing. He stopped walking and reached his little arms in the air saying "up!" I picked him up and kept going forward and we stopped after getting off the drop-off that had built up through the winter storms. I put him down and even sat with him but he just wasn't having it.

He kept saying "boad-wak...boad-wak" and even exclaimed "Oh no we're stuck!"

Does this look like the face of a guy who's having fun?


Oh no, he's losing his footing!


Oh my God there's sand on my hands!


However shall I carry on?


Daddy...fix it...


He better find his love for the beach again or it's going to be a long summer for him.

One Last Appeal

Our walk is this Sunday so I'm posting one more time our letter to family and friends. Please help us if you can!

Last year with the help of family and friends we raised $1200 for the March of Dimes!! The time has come around for us to ask for your help again. It's an important cause for us. Most of you know our story by now. In March of 2007 we found out we were expecting twins. We knew that they would change our world but we never imagined how. When I went into labor after finding out we had already lost one of the twins I was way too early for our son to have a chance. I can remember very clearly the fear I had as we walked toward the Labor and Delivery ward of the hospital. Ignoring the gut feeling I had and hoping beyond hope that the dr's would be able to save our son. That I would be put on bedrest and told to take it easy until I could get far enough in the pregnancy for him to be born. I listened to his heartbeat over the monitor and tried to convince myself it was all going to be okay. A few minutes later we found out how wrong we were as our dr, with tears streaming down her face, told us that I was in labor and nothing could stop it. I gave birth not long after to our son who would never utter a sound. Who passed silently on without ever knowing the warmth of my arms. An hour later his sister, who had passed in utero a couple weeks before was also born. Nothing could have saved my babies. But the work done by the March of Dimes has spared countless mothers and fathers from the empty arms Matt and I live with every day.

Last July 9th Matthew turned one. We took him to the aquarium and had a cookie monster cake and two days later threw a big party with our family to celebrate that first year of his life. But there was a day sandwiched in between that was a little more subdued. It was the two year anniversary of the twins' passing. We still celebrated the mark the twins left on our life. We took Matthew to Build-a-Bear where he made a teddy bear with two hearts put inside of it. I'm happy to say that the bear made that day has become Matthew's constant companion. It is a tradition we plan to keep up through Matthew's childhood.

This year I am already planning Matthew's 2nd birthday. Choosing a theme and deciding on a cake. Figuring out what his invitation will look like. But I can't do that for my twins. So I'm doing what I can do. Raising money for the March of Dimes so they can provide medical help to pregnant women, technology to save babies born too soon, and support for the parents who sit night after night by incubators in the NICU. Our life crumbled at our feet on July 11, 2007. The people we were before their loss were gone and we had to figure out how to pick up and move forward. Doing this walk helps us to heal, to feel as if we're doing something for our children who are not here. We're doing our part to make sure our twins' all too short lives were not in vain. That their memory lives on.

Will you help us? I know times are tough and it's hard to be asked to donate money if it's something you don't have. So I understand if you can't give too much, or anything at all. And I appreciate you taking the time to read my story.

Our team is called Matthew's Angels. Because Daniel and Hope are always looking out for him. Losing them created the path that brought Matthew into our lives. I will always ache to have them here and see Matthew grow up with them. But that's not the journey we're on. But we can do our part to help other little brothers and sisters not grow up alone.

You can donate to our team by going to the web page below:
http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1312966

Dyeing Easter Eggs!

This morning we dyed Easter eggs! Matthew had a lot of fun with it! He quickly got the hang of tossing the eggs in the cup of dye.


Not soon after we started we decided to lose the shirt.


He didn't have much patience for waiting for the dye to set in.


And then he ended up getting mad and crying at us when we wouldn't let him run around the house with the cups of dye. But I still think he had fun!

Okay, So It's Been A While

Wow! I haven't posted at all in March! Where did that month go? It's been busy around here.

Sarah and I started our own business and actually had a pretty great month of sales! I'm so proud of us and think we are definitely going places. You can check out our shop www.sundaygirlsdesigns.com It just takes you to our etsy shop but in time we plan to have that website up and running so you can actualy purchase from it!

In Matthew news he's been busy as well.

Ornery as ever (I think he gets that from Matt)


He is still such a joy and brings love and laughter to us everyday!

He had his first ice cream of the spring! We found a fun new ice cream shop that has cones just his size.


Matthew is also working on learning words. It's pretty fun now that he can have a conversation with us. Conversations with Matthew go like this:

Mommy: "Matthew is your belly hungry?"
Matthew, looking at his belly, "no"

Mommy: "Matthew are you a big boy?"
Matthew: "No."

Mommy: "Matthew are you going to have fun at gymnastics today?"
Matthew: "No."

See the theme here? Although he did tell me the other day, "Oh wook! Was dat I see?"

It hasn't been all fun and games though. Matthew for a couple weeks started a new trick of putting his fingers in his ears.


We weren't sure if it was just a new trick or if his ear was hurting. One day he woke up with a fever of 102.3 so I called the dr. Sure enough we had our first ear infection. Poor little guy. He actually just started his second dose of antibiotics because the first time around it didn't quite get cleared up. Here he was the day of his fever.


He's also been working on his potty skills. He never liked to sit on the potty seat so we moved the seat onto the actual toilet and now he sits on there almost every night. We have a book with a toilet flushing sound effect that he sits and reads while he practices. No pee-pees in the potty yet but he has learned to say the word penis!


He got his first big boy haircut and boy what a difference it has made! He looks so cute with his spikey hair.


St. Patrick's Day came and went and Matthew looked cute as always.


And later that night I got a glimpse into my future after I snapped a picture that I captioned "get out of my face, mother."


We went out to Pittsburgh for a weekend to go to a Penguins game. It was a lot of fun and a little bittersweet for Matt to take his son to a Penguins game when he had fond memories of going with his dad as a little boy.

Matthew had trouble staying awake during the game. He didn't sleep well the night before.


He perked up after his nap and had fun. He especially loved the Penguins' Mascot Iceburgh.


Isn't he the cutest little goalie ever?


He got in lots of good chats with his Uncle Rob too!


Last weekend Matthew got a new bike! He thinks it's so much fun!


We've also been working on trying to raise money for the March of Dimes and gearing up for our walk on April 25th. So far our team has $190! If you'd like to donate you can click the MOD banner on the right side of the blog! I also need to get rid of the hearts. Hopefully this week.

Well I think that's all from here for last month. Hopefully April will bring me some more time to update!