Is This My Life?

Dear readers of this blog. If you're reading this it's because you are either my family, my friend, or in some cases both. I guess some of you may have stumbled across this while looking for interesting blogs to read, and I hope this is one. In any event I want you to know that I appreciate you, all of you, for being in my life.

For standing with me as we struggled to get pregnant and for holding me up as I grieved the loss of our twins and for celebrating with me when we got pregnant with Matthew and holding your breath as those long 9 months creeped by.

This holidays season is upon us and I am just amazed and overwhelmed at the joy in my life. Last week I went with my sister-in-law and nephew to a studio to get pictures of Matthew and Andy for Christmas. Me. The boys were in matching outfits. It seems like such a little thing but to me it was a big huge thing. *I* have a living child this Christmas. Matt and I have a little boy to spoil and to celebrate the birth of Jesus with. We have a child to take to Santa. There's a baby to show lights to. A little boy to dress in Christmas pajamas. Do you understand what that is to me? How many years I've dreamed of this? The wonder, the love, the joy, the amazement.

There are not enough words in all the languages of the world to express my sheer excitement. My bliss. The love I feel.

The season is filled with hustle and bustle and sometimes in all the rushing around the spirit gets lost. I will not lose the spirit this year, in fact mine is higher than it's been since I was a little girl. I am a mommy this year to a living, breathing, full of life little boy and I will cherish each second of the holiday.