Three Years in the Making...

Today is my first real, official Mother's Day. Of course I've been pregnant the past two years and my husband, being the wonderful man he is, treated me to breakfast and gifts even then. But this one I had a real live kid to share the day with.

We woke up at 8, actually before said kid, and decided to try and get dressed so we could just leave when he woke up. He woke up about two seconds later.

We drove through three towns to find a place to eat. Our normal spots had lines out to the parking lot. Eventually we just decided to stop at the next diner we found and finally eat.

After breakfast we went to buy flowers for the garden, go to the grocery store to get ingredients to make dinner and then, finally, home. I spent my afternoon with my hands in the dirt. Bringing my garden back to life and putting some color back onto my porch. I love the spring and the promise of life that it brings.

Planting flowers was a Mother's Day tradition for my mom. It's what we did. And I am happy that I am carrying on this tradition.

This is my first Mother's Day, but also my first without my mom. It's coming up on a year since she's been gone and I think I'm just starting to process that loss. I was 8 months pregnant when she died and needed to focus on getting through the rest of my pregnancy. I decided to honor my mom by attempting to make the meal she always made me whenever we would visit. The recipe was in her head so I searched on the internet and found one that had the ingredients I knew she used. And I'm so excited to share with you all that it turned out really well! Matt and I made salmon cakes and home made french fries. They were really yummy, although not quite as yummy as my moms. But as everything in life, I did the best I could.

All in all it was a beautiful day spent with my two favorite guys.

I wish all of you mommies, mommies to be one day and mommies who hold their angels in their hearts a very happy Mother's Day!

I leave you tonight with three pictures:

One of the three reasons I'm a mommy


My garden all ready for the spring



And finally...salmon cakes!

The Comfort of Mommy's Arms

Matthew's started doing a new thing this morning. First it scared me because I couldn't figure out what was wrong. He was standing at his little music table and fell down and started crying horribly. I picked him up and checked everything and didn't see anything wrong so I thought maybe he bit his tongue or something.

Five minutes later he did it again. Once again no boo-boos were to be found. This time when he did it he crawled to where I was, which was no more than three feet away. Unless he's in bed I'm never more than three feet away, even when going to the bathroom. I didn't put a lot of thought into but ten minutes ago he did it again. Okay, there isn't anything wrong. Not at all. He's just learned that if he falls mommy will pick him up and make it all better, even if there's nothing to make better. I don't mind, not one bit. But I do want him to learn quickly he doesn't need to pretend he got hurt to have some cuddle time with mommy. That comes free with the job of being my son.



**disclaimer**
I attempted to find a more current picture of Matthew and I snuggling. Unfortunately I'm typically the one behind the camera, something I'll have to remedy. But I'm sure you don't mind looking at this picture of the itty bitty Matthew! This was from the day after we brought him home.

And We Walked...

As we got to the March For Babies walk I felt my eyes well up with tears. There were a lot of people there walking for babies who were little fighters in the NICU and got to come home. As you know we were not so lucky, but I still could feel the greatness of gratitude coming from the families of those little babies that did survive. It took about 20 minutes before I could get myself together and stop being emotional.

It was a long walk, and not on our side was the fact the night before we had gone to a concert in Atlantic City and didn't get back to the hotel until 1:30 in the morning only to wake up at 6 to get ready to leave. On top of being tired it was in the 80's that day! Those 5 miles felt like 15 but we did it, and got the sticker to prove it.

Our team raised $1030! I was so excited to have contributed so much to such a great cause! I hope next year we can raise even more!

Matt and I would like to thank everyone who came out and walked with us and those that donated to our team.

Here are some pictures of our walk.

Matthew and the butterfly balloons we got for the twins.


Some of our team in the green shirts


The memory wall


The page we did for the twins


A picture of the three of us at the end of the walk.


Matthew wearing his "little brother" t-shirt


It was a great day and we can't wait for next year!

I Know It's Been A While...

I can hear the sighs of your disappointment as you check this blog waiting and waiting for something new to be here. Well, faithful readers, today is your day!

Where have I been, might you ask? Very busy. We've had a lot going on including two weekends in a row of being away. But we're home now and finally settled back into life.

Matthew, nearing ten months, has become a pro at standing up. Including the day I caught him standing up in his high chair and just yesterday at Target, despite being buckled in, he was halfway to standing up in the cart! I fear for his life, and my heart, daily. What's going to happen when he can really get walking?

The biggest change I've noticed in him lately is his ability to play and to want to be played with. He breaks out into giggles at night when Matt and I play "I'm going to get you" with him as we head up the stairs for bathtime. If you take his nose and eat it he will melt into hysterical laughter on the floor and then force his face towards you for you to do it again. It fills my heart with incredible joy to see him be so happy.

I'm trying to savor these moments, for I know that all too soon every toy in the house will be bypassed as I hear the words, "mom, I'm bored" 5 million times a day. I'll be sure to remind him of the simple joy he found in a stolen nose or in the thought that he scared mommy. I imagine he won't care when he's 10, but one day he'll have a little boy or girl himself, and he'll remember what I said as he plays a game of peek-a-boo and laughs as hard as his child does. And when he does he'll know the depths of a parent's love for a child.

I'm Really Not Ready For This

Matthew, along with turning 9 months old, has discovered he has a new talent



To say I'm not ready is an understatement. The house isn't ready for all the things he can reach by doing this. And mommy and daddy definitely aren't ready for what comes after this. Sigh...

He's growing up.

Forward Motion

Goodnight My Angel

I think Matt read my blog. The one about listening to him sing? I haven't heard him do it lately.

However after my bath tonight I did find a daddy, tired from a long, stressful day of work, and his little boy, tired from a long not so stressful day of play and naps.